Tyler

Becky Barrow, reporting (I use the term generously) for the Daily Mail:

[Former Apprentice contestant Katie] Hopkins claimed children called Tyler, Chardonnay and Charmain are less likely to have done their homework and been disruptive at school, claims dismissed by her fellow guest as "snortworthy."
She went on to insist she hates any child named after a footballer, a season, a geographical location—even though one of her children is called India—and a celebrity. 

Snortworthy. Now that is name!

Hydrox

I have, in my lifetime, encountered an inordinate number of black-and-white rabbits and guinea pigs—not, to my knowledge, any cats or dogs, but I could be misremembering—named Oreo.

Just once—just once—I'd like to meet a little bunny Hydrox. Is that really so much to ask?

D.J.

I'm hardly the first person to think D.J. Conner or Tanner would make for an excellent disc jockey name. D.J. Conner was David Jacob and Tanner was Donna Jo—and D.J. Fontana Dominic Joseph and Shockley Donald Eugene and Caruso Daniel John—but A.J. Soprano was Anthony, Jr.; from this should I extrapolate that most deejays are first name-middle name derivations and most ehjays juniors? No, but A.J. Burnett is Allan James and A.J. Cook is Arthur James or Andrea Joy. And that Soprano kid was actually Anthony John, it turns out. So forget it!

Breighdn

Here, in alphabetical order, are all the 2005 spellings of Breighdn, male and female, as recorded by the Social Security Administration:
Bradan
Bradden
Braden
Bradin
Bradon
Bradyn
Braedan
Braeden
Braedin
Braedon
Braedyn
Braeton
Braidan
Braiden
Braidon
Braidyn
Braydan
Brayden
Braydin
Braydon
Braydn
Braydyn
Brayton
Breydan
Breyden
Breydon

Please let me know if there are any I've overlooked, or if my alphabetizing leaves something to be desired.

X

Not El-Hajj Malik El-Shabazz—I went to high school with a wholly whitebread girl with the middle name of X, just X, just like Homer J. Simpson's middle name is just J. It was pronounced "ex," not "zuh" (as in Xavier) or "jhuh" (as in, I think, Xiomara and Ximena); it was, in other words, just X of the Roman alphabet, not X of Cyrillic (usually transliterated as "kh," and close to "ch" [as in Chanukkah] in sound, in my unprofessional opinion [very unprofessional, indeed, incorrect — ed.]). And let's not forget the X of Mandarin! No, let's! X. X. X. Just X.

If she changed her name, she could be ex-X. And someone she breaks up with could refer to her as "my ex, ex-X." And so on, x cetera.

Georgy

I am perhaps deriving more pleasure than is right and proper from reading and rereading the names children have been suggesting for the newborn snow leopards at the Cape May County Zoo. The pleasure is only heightened by having a list of the kids' names to read, too; sometimes the first and last names are just wonderful (e.g., "Henry James" and "Hannah Stanks," also known as what no one has ever called me even though they've certainly had the chance), sometimes the sibling pairs are surprising or puzzling (e.g., the sisters Clementine and Isabel and the ten-year-old Matilda with the brother named, somewhat disappointingly, Mikey).

And, boy, the names these kids have suggested? Abysmal. To wit:

Georgy and Big Belly
Hima-layin' and Hima-standin'
Himanijay and Vijaymani (!)
Snow and Moe
Buzz and Woody
Edward and Jacob
Benny and Jet
Lewis and Clarke, for the unforgettable brothers
Achlendra and Fuyuki, two beautiful Asian words
Snowflaky and Snowy
Asia and India
Twilight and Avatar
Twilight and Eclipse
Ying and Yang
Cutie and Oscar
Manny and Jay Jay

Actually, I sort of dig that last one, unless it's a reference to something I'm not about to Google. And I like another pair that includes Jacob—Cornelius and Jacob, for the founder of Cape May. I also like James Bond and Crumpoo.

And I appreciate that Jordan Presley O'Drain, nine months old, submitted Jordan and Presley.

Tractor

I found this in a Russian book on Russian names (What is your name? Where do you live? by Aleksandra Superanskaya). It was listed along with other post-Revolution names, such as: Marten ("furnace"), Elektrostantsiya, Podyem ("rise" or "recovery"), Smichka ("union"), Energiya, Rem (standing for "Revolution, Electrification, Machinery"). See also Aviakhim.

Sasha

Sasha Obama's real name is Natasha, which is traditionally a diminutive of Natalya.