Malice

Not too long ago I was appropriately outraged by the facts reported by Ada Calhoun in the New York Times Magazine piece “The Criminalization of Bad Mothers,” an outrage I then felt moved to broadcast on Facebook. The following exchange then ensued:

—Not to detract from the seriousness of the piece, but I know this caption is relevant to your interests: “Heather Capps, 25, and her 5-month-old son, Malice”
—Yeah, what I find interesting is how that name bucks trends—relatively few male names end in that sound and the “a” isn't the incredibly popular long “a” of Aidan, Jacob, and Mason. (I mean, there is Elias and Jonas and Jarvis and Ellis, etc. But they have nothing on the popularity of names ending in “n” and “ah.”) (And lest you think I am missing that, like, his name is Malice, trust me, I noticed.)
—Right, “Malice” sounds like “Alice,” which is super feminine! what if we all started naming our boy babies super femme names like “Clarice” and “Denise” and “Avarice”! 
—“Phallice”

Look, I do not pretend to be above the frequent cryptoracist and/or cryptoclassist shit and/or giggle. But let us just take a moment to admire Heather Capps, who indeed gave her son a remarkable name.
According to Social Security Administration data, there were no more than four babies name Malice in 2011. So while it might not be to my taste, but, Jesus, very little is—and, moreover, it is interesting, which is more than you can say about, say, my name or, probably, your name.